Whatever Lola Knits: Hats

So Styro saw the photo I posted yesterday of my Easy-peasy rolled-brim knit-in-the-dark hat and wanted the pattern! Much like most of my recipes, this is stolen and barely altered from wherever I originally saw it--let's give credit to the Yarn Harlot's Knitting Rules! because I'm pretty sure that book had something to do with it.

Ingredients
-Yarn. This is an obvious one, although you are welcome to try knitting with twine, wire, or red shoestring licorice. I cannot vouch for the durability of a hat made of the latter, because if you wore it anywhere near my mother, it would be gone in a heartbeat. (Also, unrelated to knitting: did you know that red licorice is basically made of just high fructose corn syrup, red coloring and FLOUR? Flour in candy seems weird. Maybe it's just me.) In reality, this pattern works with either chunky or worsted weight yarn. Anything finer than that is a waste of time. Hats knit with sock yarn? NO THANKS. Go for about 80-110 yards of chunky yarn, or 120-200 yards of worsted weight yarn. Obviously, YMMV what with the gauge and all. Save yourself some grief and knit a hat with some sort of wooly yarn. Throw the acrylic away, sucker.

(you should note that gauge is important blah di blah blah, but I don't swatch for this hat unless I'm drunk or desperate. If you think you'll have a little extra yarn, knit a 10-stitch by 10-stitch swatch and then light it on fire.)

-Needles. I love two things: Bryspun 18" circulars and Addi Turbo 16" circulars. For the chunky hat, go with something like a US10, US10.5 needle; for worsted, go with a US7 or US8. If you get a few rounds into it and your inch of nascent hat feels like a band of steel, maybe go up a needle size or two. I trust you to make your own decisions about this. (you will also need matching DPNs for when the hat gets too small. I only use 4, but you can use 5 if you are a loser.)

-Tapestry needle for your ineffective weaving-in-of-ends. If your hat is wool, you'll have an easier job of this. If it's cotton, just give up now.

Instructions

1) With circular needle, cast on enough stitches to go 'round your head. My head is about 21 inches around, so for chunky weight, I use about 70 stitches; for worsted weight, I use about 80 stitches. The Unintentionally Patriotic Hat was knit for a larger head, about 22.5 inches, and I cast on 90 stitches for that. Join stitches without twisting and knit around. If you want a ribbed brim, do what you gotta do.

2) Knit the hat until it is as long as your hand from palm to the tip of your middle finger. This feels like FOREVER but remember that hats are terrific because you only have to knit ONE. If you're knitting this for someone else, find out what their hand measurement is--I have pretty small hands, so when I'm knitting hats for other people, I add at least an inch. There is a reason they call me T-Rex Hands.

3) Decreasing is easy math and goes quickly if you remembered to stick a stitch marker in to mark the beginning of the round. If you forgot (this is what i usually do, because I can't be bothered to locate anything to serve as a stitch marker.) then just stick one in there now. Here's the easy math part:

If you cast on 70 stitches, the first decreases will be done every 7 stitches. Knit 6, k2tog around. Knit one plain row. Next round, your decreases will be done every 6 stitches. Knit 5, k2tog around. See the pattern?

If you cast on 80 stitches, start your decreases every 8 stitches. If you cast on 90 stitches, it's every 9 stitches. Don't forget to knit one plain row between decrease rows! This keeps your hat nice and round instead of elfishly pointed. If you DID want an elfishly pointed hat, you would knit half as many decreases--4 sets for an 80-stitch hat, and just keep knitting the decrease rounds. Once I made a hat that looked like a nipple by doing that. Take that as you will.

4) Knit the decrease rounds until you've k2togged all the way around for one row and you have fewer than 10 stitches on your needles. Cut your yarn, and thread it through the remaining stitches, and pull them tight! Now the top of your hat will look a little like an anus, but it's a pleasant one. Knitting: The Craft That Makes You Think Of Buttholes.

Anyway, now you can weave in ends, add a tassle or a pom pon, embroider an airplane on it, whatever. I just stick it on my head and take terrible photos of myself! THE END.

I have finished things! It's true, I am not always just starting projects, but I am verrrry bad at remembering to take timely photos of the things I finish. Also, our house is small, low-ceilinged and in Seattle, which means that we will have no decent natural light until next April. Enter: The Bathroom Counter! I find that the light in our bathroom is most often decent enough for these kinds of photos, and less likely to be covered with a stack of mail (dining room table), a stack of magazines (ottoman in the den) or small appliances (kitchen, all of it). Click photos for better descriptions and/or notes--this will take you to my Flickr stream.

The Petal Bib from One Skein, knit in KnitPicks Main Line--the yarn I'll never run out of.

My First Mitten! These are for Allison, my former admin.

I think I mucked up the thumb decreases, but blocking will fix that, right? RIGHT???

I know that I followed the decreases perfectly on the top of the mitten, but it still looks awfully pointy. Do they make mitten-blockers?

The Unintentionally Patriotic Hat

Winter Hat, maybe for me? The matching scarf is in my car, and I was too lazy to go get it.

Melissa Calls This My Clubfoot Sock.

Here's the yarn I bought in Spain!

You will also find photos of the yummy yarn Quincy brought back from Scandinavia for me, and some recent sock yarn purchases. Rest assured that I have purchased FAR MORE yarn than is pictured here, because who would I be without that awful yarn-bingeing streak? A shell of my former self, I'm sure.